The litte (Witch) Mermaid

"Carefully assessing her situation, Ariel decided to trade her voice for witchcraft lessons instead of legs. Nowadays she runs a profitable ship sinking business with her partner the Kraken, but decided to remain single despite their mutual attraction. The toilet seat was always down and Ariel never had to pick a piece of dirty laundry of the floor. Every day was kinky fanfic and haggen-daz day. Obviously, she never spoke a word ever again, but made a lot of seamen scream. And at the end of the day, that was all that mattered: actions speak louder than words"